In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter, bitter," he answered
"But I like it
Because it is bitter
And because it is my heart."

~ Stephen Crane (1871-1900)

With regrets ...

A prominent figure, Tan Sri Dato' Seri Azizan Zainul Abidin has passed away peacefully this morning at the age of 69.

May God Almighty have mercy on his soul.

This song has been playing in my head this past few days.

This love has taken its toll on me
She said goodbye too many times before

~ This Love by Maroon 5

They were three main players in the systems development group -- me and another two friends. Our capital expenditure budget was never less than 20 million bucks a year. As the core group, we were the hive of IT activities in the oil & gas exploration company. The boss trusted us to run projects autonomously. We were kings of our own little hills. We had breakfast and lunch together almost daily. We played games together after office.

That was about five years ago. Then one guy left to head the IT operations somewhere in Borneo. Later on I moved to join the corporate arena with the holding company. Shortly after my move, another one was transferred to head the IT operations in the east coast. Our communication was sparse but the friendship, deeply intact.

Since the dispersal, I noticed that I was less strong to go through my crises as there's no one near to share. These two guys know me and my world. They may not have approved of what I did but they understood me. I have few friends, and those few I have, I really treasure them. And I treasure these two.

It's been a long while since we sat down and talked. Yesterday was almost a celebration. We met for lunch. We talked about the same topics, the same problem areas, but different stories.

The east coast guy has been transferred back here. I'm pushing and hoping for the Borneo guy to come back. Now older and having gone through the same crises (proving that we are none the wiser), I believe we are bound stronger. I foresee I'm going to have a bumpy ride ahead of me. I'll sure be glad if they're around me again. They are my emotional crutches.

Friendship Day is 1st August. To these two guys, allow me the pleasure to wish you a Happy Friends Day in advance.

Thank you for being my buddies.

some rare breed of people condescendingly say that petronas work culture is like that of the government. i call these people rare because they are blind and deaf but can still talk, albeit half-brainlessly.

these people may still choose to remain blind and deaf. let them be. for the rest of us who can see, listen and think i'm sharing with you all another view. sidek kamiso wrote in the star ...

"Petronas’ achievements show that even a government-linked company can be a commercial success, balancing its hunger for more profit with its role as a good corporate citizen."

"Petronas' hallmark is its corporate culture that enables it to respond to the changing business environment. For the past 30 years, it has demonstrated its capabilities, knowledge and skills to undertake major upstream and downstream projects in a variety of geographic and business environments."

petronas is celebrating its 30th anniversary this year. it has made record profit as if to commemorate the anniversary. as a contribution to the nation and the people, it's paying billions in tax. well, numbers will explain it better.