the more i try to confront the past, the more i get bogged down by it, and the less i get to focus on the present.

granted, the past has shaped me to what i am today. i've learnt something though. i stop confronting the past and the past will let me sail. that's what i've gathered during my short break in the last few days.

on thursday night i hopped on a bus heading north and made my way across the border. i spent four nights there, eating good food and enjoying every minute of it with my company. originally i had planned to take a 10-day break but i had to cancel my leave and cut it down to 5 days.

during the trip i did have the inevitable conversations about the past. instead of talking about the details of the past, i examined how the past should be handled. i've concluded that it should be left alone. i think i am getting successful with that. i noticed too that because of the past, i am now very cautious about the future. there are areas that i am willing to fight for, and areas that i don't have the will or strength to fight again.

loyalty in companionship is still top on my list. i will give loyalty and commitment. for those who betray me, i don't have the will or strength to maintain them as my companion -- i will dissolve the companionship soonest.

anyway, i feel much better after the trip. no more headaches or fever spell when i got back here in kl. strangely though, as i started work this morning, i began sneezing. maybe i'm allergic to work ;-)

it's time to plan for my next trip. chieng mai maybe?

woooo hoooo