i'm a bit under the weather. my head feels giddy when i stare at this screen. walking about makes me feel better but when i sit down again i feel worse. i'm on the borderline of having a fever i guess. some people i know are already down with flu or something. the bug must be in the air.

yesterday as i walked past a shop i saw a red chair. suddenly my mind reeled back to some unpleasant moments. it was on a red chair that i cried my heart out, pleading and begging and ... stop! i'm not going to go through that moment again. it's bloody painful.

yesterday too i had a discussion to review my performance with my boss. it's a yearly thing we do. some people really go for high rating. but high rating doesn't motivate me much. there's a small impact on the paycheck but the excitement doesn't last long.

what i value most from the review is the feedback i get. tell me about my strengths so that i can capitalise on them; tell me about my weaknesses so that i can improve them; having the boss to be pleased with my performance is a bonus. however, knowing that i exceed the challenges that i set before me is the most gratifying and motivates me to raise my own bar.

well, i've got to add some comments made by my boss into the appraisal form. it's in a database somewhere and it's crawling. i'd better get to it now.

i've got to squint my eyes harder as i get giddier. maybe a cigarette may help ;-) fooooh fooooh